The words are rampant in the Western world.
Maybe you’ve even said them yourself. Surely you’ve thought them.
There is not enough.
I don’t have enough.
And the real kicker, I am not enough.
In societies that have more abundance and riches than in any other time in history, how is it possible that these words are so often, if not uttered, then at least thought or felt, several times a day?
Although men suffer from this syndrome as well, I’m going to focus the attention on women here because these words are the cultural battle cry underlying the majority of messages that come our way.
YOU ARE NOT DOING ENOUGH => YOU ARE NOT ENOUGH.
You can fill in your own personal blank.
You are not ______ enough.
Most of us have a self-image that is not beautiful enough, not thin enough, not sexy enough, not attractive enough.
We overwork to compensate for being not enough especially when we want both career and kids. We’re underpaid in most areas of the work world. We spend billions of dollars on products and cosmetic surgery to help us feel enough.
So what’s new? We have a pretty good picture of all this already, when we stop to think about it.
What I’m curious about is how much you think this personally affects your life?
When you do stop to think about it, how often does this insidious mantra pulse through your thoughts and your actions?
Do you overcompensate and over-give so that people will like you even though you feel like it’s never working?
Do you opt for the opposite, can’t be bothered putting in effort because it’ll never be good enough, but then don’t achieve the goals you have for yourself?
Do you strive to be perfect, often falling into overwhelm and exhaustion?
In my years of coaching and as an artist, I’ve noticed this primary belief lying at the base of some of the most talented, intelligent women I know. Whether it is unconsciously there or right up front in your face, these four words are the cause of more than their fair share of unhappiness and misery.
To give you an idea of how pervasive and deep this feeling of not-enoughness goes, I’ll share some thoughts from a must-read book for our times The Chrysalis Effect: The Metamorphosis of Global Culture.
Philip Slater describes two opposing systems that are currently engaged in an epic struggle. In his words:
The old system I call Control Culture. Its concern with mastery led to the creation of rigid mental and physical compartments, a static vision of the universe, a deep dependence on authoritarian rule, a conviction that order was something that had to be imposed, and a preoccupation with combat.
The new system I call Integrative Culture, because its guiding impulse is to dissolve mental walls and permeate artificial boundaries—to celebrate interdependence. It has a dynamic vision of the universe, a democratic ethos, and sees order as something that evolves, as it does in Nature, from spontaneous interaction.
Written well before the current presidential race in the U.S., this is another quote from the book:
Control Culture is obsessed with building walls.
Does that ring any bells?
More interestingly, do you know what the foundation of the entire Control Culture is based on?
The demotion of women.
You cannot have an authoritarian, war-like society unless women are devalued and oppressed.
I don’t know about you but the Control Culture is NOT a world I want to continue to live in. If you take a big picture, visionary look at the world right now, you can see how this control/integrator dynamic is playing out in many different areas of life.
The conflict is within every nation, every political party, every religious tradition, every institution, every individual.
My question to you is simple: which culture would you rather live in?
On a personal level, where are you fighting for control and where are you letting life evolve?
Visionary journaling fits exactly into the Integrative Culture.
In the creative process, knowing when to step in and when to let go is essential. This is what makes having a creative practice worthwhile. The focus is not on the product but on the experience; being present in the moment, flowing with the materials in a dance that is happening just for you.
Your journal is a safe place to practice this dance with absolutely no risk, no consequences, no judging from the outside world. There is only you and your page.
Willingness all you need.
And a few simple materials.
Through this process you will find self-kindness and self-love. This self-knowledge culminates in a woman who knows herself to be enough, who knows what she is doing and why, and is satisfied with the life she is creating.
I invite you to step through the portal of enoughness and take the journey of a lifetime. Through private 1-1 sessions with me, you will use visionary journaling to learn how to let go and trust, how to find enoughness, how to interpret what emerges from the page and apply it directly to your life. This is intimate creative work at its best.
If you feel the desire to finally get free from the culture of not-enoughness, click here for more details.