Lights On ~ 8” x 8” Painting in Progress ©Linda Hough 2012
When was the last time something went as you expected? This seems to be the theme in my life right now. Not only in the 10 in 10 Painting Challenge I set for myself last week but in general.
Long ago, I got the idea that expectations were a set-up for disappointment. That not letting go of expectations when faced with a different reality was surely a recipe for unhappiness. My question though has always been this: when expectations are not met, do you change reality to meet the expectations or do you accept what is? It’s situational, I’m sure.
This week, I gave myself a framework in which to complete ten paintings but I also attempted to let go of all expectations. My focus was on experimentation while being mindful of paint application, watching my thoughts and generally being present to the process.
The painting above was the first image that showed up. It is based on an audio series I’d been listening to about being in the light. Much like when I was a child, this image just popped into my mind. I had all sorts of other ideas about my ten panels but this is what showed up. So I painted it.
It’s not finished. There are layers of glazing to apply. So the first expectation I had to throw out was the one about doing a painting a day. I’ve never painted that way but thought I’d give it a go. Nope. Glazing can’t be done in a day.
The next expectation was that I’d paint all ten panels as a series. But after a lovely sunset, I was inspired to do four panels based on the colors and forms I saw in the sky. More abstract, not necessarily sunsets. Not at all like the above painting in style, color or feeling. Another expectation out the door.
These four panels are looser, freer and I noticed a LOT of opinions and judgments bantering about in my mind while working on them. None of them positive. I couldn’t even get myself to show them here as one of the colors currently looks like Pepto Bismol.
However, I reminded myself to just let go and see what happens. When glazing, you want the first layers to be lighter and brighter so you can go darker with each successive layer. This part is the experimentation bit…no expectations.
I did two panels with trees. And three more sit empty, waiting for inspiration.
On the tenth day of the challenge, I will have worked on ten paintings. Because of the glazing, I already know they won’t be finished. But I will have gotten that much farther down the road to finding my theme and my direction. And learned a whole lot more about being present to what is to boot.