For two weeks, I’ve been putting off doing something that will seem easy peasy to some of you. But I’d love for you to follow along anyhow.
This story has its origin a couple of months back when I offered to connect an author with someone in France that might be interested in producing his play.
What do I know about producing plays…zippo.
BUT I immediately thought of someone who knows someone who knows someone else.
So I raised my hand and volunteered.
Although this path was instantly favorable, as can be the case with such endeavors, it eventually fell flat. I was left with a promise I had made and also by this time my own desire to see this project through.
Now I had to dig a little deeper. Three people came to mind but this would put me decidedly outside of my comfort zone. I only knew these people in passing AND I’d have to speak French.
Daily Quick Collage ~ Linda Hough 2016
If you’ve been reading my emails for a while, you know I’ve lived in France for almost 12 years. What I am most embarrassed and even ashamed to admit is that my French is still rather basic. Certainly not fluent. I spend most every day speaking, writing, and buried in books in English.
I am definitely not proud of this. Most days I don’t think much about it but in situations like this, it stops me cold.
Then there is the introversion factor. I’m so much more comfortable having deep conversations with people I know than to talk with someone I don’t.
Hence the two-week wait.
But yesterday I was inspired to go out and connect with these three people and make some progress.
The first stop was a shop on my street that is hardly ever open. But today, she was. And sitting in plain view.
I walked right by.
Here’s what I heard in my mind: Oh, she’s there! Keep walking. You can catch her on the way back. Or even another day. She won’t understand you. She probably can’t help you anyhow. She’s busy. Why are you even doing this anyway?
Halfway down the road, I stopped. The more I listened to my thoughts, the closer I came to abandoning the whole project. Seriously, what do I know about getting plays produced? I’d sound like an idiot in English, yet alone in French.
Daily Quick Collage ~ Linda Hough 2016
Then I got very quiet. I relaxed into the deepest part of myself. I began to feel all those competing thoughts drop away and clarity of mind arise.
WITHOUT FURTHER THINKING, I turned around and entered the shop.
After saying hello, I smiled and hesitantly began speaking in French. To break the ice, I asked her to excuse me after all these years to be speaking so poorly but that I hoped she would understand. She smiled back and we began a conversation.
I left with a list of things to do and an agreement of participation.
The terrifying stories I had made up in my mind were just that: stories.
Emphasis on made up.
When all that fear-induced thinking settled down, I was left with a calm resolve to find the way forward, to accomplish my desire.
We face enough battles in the outside world without having a battle raging within us as well. Next time you hear that critical, doubting, belittling voice telling you YOU aren’t good enough, DO NOT LISTEN.
As quickly as these thoughts appear, they can disappear. IF you don’t latch on to them.
Take time out. Take a deep breath. Relax. As these distracting thoughts dissipate, your own deep inner knowing will be revealed.
Daily Quick Collage ~ Linda Hough 2016
No matter who you are or what you’ve been through, at your core, you are creative, resourceful + whole. Take away all the random thoughts flying through your head and what you have left is an innate wisdom that is always present.
If you aren’t familiar with this part of yourself, or if you doubt this applies to you, please take a few minutes and look at any one of these videos. (free to watch, no opt-in required) Here, I share the practice of creating a daily quick collage, the same ones you’ve been seeing in these emails.
This process is as fun as it is revelatory in uncovering this magical space within where you hear your own wisdom and learn how to recognize your own deep inner knowing.
By the way, the other two people were equally magnanimous and I’m now back on the path of what I’ve learned is actually an Executive Producer. Who knows where this journey will take me but I’m having fun doing something new + different along side my regular work.
And I will be improving my French.
Daily Quick Collage ~ Linda Hough 2017