This week, another powerful question that will receive a treatment below. Treatments to such big questions are limited by space and time. Books can and have been written about such topics and there are many opinions and theories. I offer a few resources along with the following:

This Week’s Question:
How should we deal with fear, in particular, fear of death?

Answer:
Fear is a very powerful word and full of many connotations. I will leave the fear of death until last, as seems fitting.

Fear is a mechanism used to alert us to danger. Originally, this alert often meant survival; the difference between life and death. And it still can. On a physical level, paying attention to the response of a fear alert is vitally important.

However in the Western world where, for many of us, our survival needs are being met, our fear response has taken on a different role. Rather than signally a threat to our physical safety, fear has become a threat to our mental stability.

For an in-depth discussion on the real threats that we can avoid by paying attention to our fear alert and our intuition, please see Gavin de Becker’s The Gift of Fear.

The following will pertain to our mental fears, the fears we construct in our minds that mostly do not come to pass but paralyze us nevertheless.

Fear ~ 5” x 8”Ink on Paper ~ ©Linda Hough

Fear is the projection into the future of a perceived negative outcome.

For example, in your mind, you are thinking about changing careers or jobs. When you imagine this change, you begin to get excited. You imagine all the good things this change will bring.

Then, the possibility of a negative outcome begins to seep into your vision. Maybe you’ll fail. What will people think. Etc. Etc.

Suddenly, this negative outcome becomes larger than the positive mental images that led you to contemplate your change. Fear has taken hold.

There are all kinds of reasons for projecting a negative outcome and having it outweigh your original vision. But the end result is that the negative outcome becomes dominent in your thinking.

Now, every time you imagine making this change, not only does fear grip your thinking, your body begins to respond as well. Your breathing and your heart rate increase. You suddenly experience a gripping pain in your solar plexus or heart area. You become anxious, and you respond as your ancestors once did to physical fear: flight, fight or freeze.

When it comes to making the decision to change, you are now overcome with the paralysis of fear. This results in you doing nothing. Your dreams are put on hold or never become realized. Fear has won its battle today. You are indeed ‘safe’.

The greatness of this question lies in the fact that when you are aware that you are in fear, you now have other options. You are at choice.

Marianne Williamson says that there are only two emotions: fear and love. If you are not in one, you are in the other.

When you recognize that you are in fear, immediately stop and become aware of your thinking. You will most likely find that you are imagining a negative scenario. You have only to change your thinking and the fear will disappear. I’m speaking in mental terms and again, NOT about physical fear and danger.

Open Door ~ 30” x 40” Oil on Canvas © Linda Hough
Private Collection

At any given moment, there are a multitude of futures available to you. All it takes is the awareness of what you want and then making the choice best aligned with your desire.

I know this sounds very simple. It can be but often it is not. All sorts of unconscious beliefs and ideas come parading in front of your beautiful vision. It is all an illusion to keep you safe.

As a creator, it is up to you open the door to the future you want. You begin by taking the first step. You step either into fear or into love…the choice is yours.

Love ~ 5” x 8” Ink of Paper ~ ©Linda Hough

When I was reflecting on this very important question, the 1984 Foreigner ballad came flashing into my mind. With internal speakers blaring loudly, I heard this resonate with the deepest part of myself:

I wanna know what love is
I want you to show me
I wanna feel what love is
I know you can show me.

If you too want to know what love is, just ask. Ask to be shown. In the presence of love, fear cannot exist. They are at opposite ends of a polarity. Let love replace fear and watch what you can do. Let love be the positive outcome you imagine, instead of the negative.

As for fear of death, this comes from much the same place as fear in general. When an outcome is unknown, we fear the worse. Faith and belief are helpful but still no one knows what happens when we die. And so we fear.

Besides faith, there is one single resource that not only completely comforted me with regards to this most universal of fears but gave me insight on a number of different levels. You’ll find that resource by clicking here.

Fear arises to keep us safe. But ‘safe’ is not the way to a fulfilling life. By becoming aware of your fears and choosing differently, you step through the doorway to a life you are longing to live.

Agave Light
16” x 20” ~ Oil on Canvas ©Linda Hough
[ $547.00 unframed* ]

First, thank you to everyone who submitted questions. I’m going to jump right in, as I’m excited to begin this journey. After reading, please feel free to hit REPLY and send a question you’d like answered and/or send any comments to me.

Here is our first question:
In our fast paced world, that is constantly drawing us outside of ourselves, what are the practices you would recommend to us, to stay connected to our inner life, our soul’s calling. We can go to Google for everything these days and have stopped asking questions of ourselves inside. How do we find our way back?

Answer:
Who is the one that is asking the questions? Constantly distracting yourself from your soul’s calling is the not the work of the soul but of the entity known as the ego.

Within ourselves, there are many parts. Depending on the activity, different parts will take a more prominent role.

When you find yourself not doing what you truly desire to be doing or not feeling connected to your soul’s calling, ask yourself: in this moment, who is in charge here? Who is doing the choosing? On what basis are the choices being made?

Our days are fraught with distractions. We constantly let our attention wander away from what is truly important on a soul level. Google is a good source for answering questions of fact. Staying connected to the divine flow of information coming from your soul is a better guide to finding your way to living a more satisfying life.

Open Vista
20” x 24” ~ Oil on Canvas ©Linda Hough
[ $997* Framed ]

Key to this process is having a vision, at least an idea of what your soul’s calling is. When you know this, it is like a guiding light always calling you home. When a desire is strong and clear, and your attention is focused like a laser beam on your vision, distraction becomes a momentary pleasure you take from time to time to relax.

Following your calling though can be challenging. Often times it is not convenient or comfortable. Therefore we look find substitute activities to distract us from truly living our heart’s desire. We look outside ourselves for answers.

This works for a while.

Then the soul’s calling becomes louder, hoping to catch our attention. The moment we begin to pay attention, we begin a magical journey. As you rightly point out, connection to this source is the key.

Staying connected is just an awareness away.

Let’s say you have a deep desire to do something good for yourself, something you know your soul desires and/or something that makes you very happy when you do it. This could have something to do with your calling, or creating something, meditating, doing yoga or hiking, even working on a project for your business.

You think about this all day and are excited to commence the activity. But before beginning, you go to check your email and then, because one click leads to another, you get end up chasing answers to questions you didn’t even know you had.

The Decision (Detail)
13″ x 20″ ~ Oil on Canvas ©Linda Hough
[ $2,597* Framed ]

In the back of your mind, you hear your soul calling out to you: hey, didn’t you promise we’d get to paint, write, meditate (fill in your passion) now? What are you doing on that stupid computer?

Your body begins to feel bad, a sinking feeling that you are on the wrong path but somehow, you stay. It is comfortable and relaxing. You tell yourself: I don’t have enough energy to paint, write or meditate. You feel that you are not connected. You KNOW you are not connected.

Once you have this awareness, you are just one choice away from connection. It is only a matter of making an inner shift.

So the practice that I would recommend is this awareness practice.

1) First, have a guiding vision for your life.

2) Notice when you are not feeling connected to it. You may be feeling instead a feeling such as bored, frustrated, distracted, etc.

3) Notice what you are doing and then ask yourself: who made this choice? Is it the part of yourself that yearns to follow your soul’s calling? If not, what are you avoiding? What are you afraid of?

4) Ask yourself: what you would truly rather be doing? What is your heart’s desire, your soul’s calling in this very moment? Expand into the answer.

5) From the place where this answer comes you will find the connection you are looking for. Shift your attention, your feelings and thoughts to this place inside. Let this trusted source be your guide always.

The more action you take based on the answers you receive, the stronger the connection gets. The more aligned your actions are with your soul’s calling; the more fulfilled and satisfied you will find yourself.

Your answers will come, as you need them, from the place deep inside that knows you best.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

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Transformation Is In The Air ~ A Firey Desert Sunset

Four months ago I wrote my last email to you and nine months ago my friend passed away. I always note the significance of a nine-month period, the amount of time for human gestation and birth. Death and birth, both are times of transformation.

And so it is again that I find myself experiencing a new phase of life.

This is how I ended my last email to you:
I understood that my passion lies somewhere between painting and helping others experience their authentic voices so that they too can express their true selves, shine their light and dance with joy.

For most of my adult life, I’ve been searching for the answer to my biggest question: what is my contribution? What is it that I have to offer? In the deepest recesses of my soul, this question has plagued and tormented me.

I have not been happy inside.

So I did what most of us do, I covered the pain of not feeling like I was enough with mild doses of various substances including but not limited to co-dependent love, self-help processes, denial, even the adventure of living in another country.

But as the saying goes: wherever you go, there you are. I could not escape the pain. I had to turn around and face it.

Phoenix Rising From The Ashes~ Weaving ~ ©Linda Hough

For the past several months, I’ve been working with one-on-one with the facilitator of the Authentic Voice workshop I attended last fall. We meet on a weekly basis to help me find answers to some of my most nagging questions. The journey has been intense and the effort rewarding.

What has been revealed is a simple truth, as true for me as it is for you. The whispers and longings that are barely heard but deeply felt, the ones that you recognize but don’t dare want to acknowledge? That’s where you want to go.

If you are not happy inside, if you are covering up your pain, that’s where you’ve got to look.

Each one of us is here to experience ourselves through our own creative process; to express our uniqueness and to make a contribution to our community. If you’re not doing this, you’re most likely feeling some pain inside.

Perhaps, like me, you are already on the right track but just can’t dial it in. My whispers and longings have always been for contribution but I didn’t know exactly what to do with that. Now I am aware that my energies are specifically attuned to provide information for approaching challenges in a creative way.

I am excited to learn more about how I can better use this ability. To practice, I need your help.

I invite you to submit a topic that you’d like me to write about. Something you’re curious about or a challenge you’re facing. These days, there are plenty of challenges going around. Transformational opportunities are everywhere.

To submit your topic, please REPLY to this email, pick a topic close to your heart, write a brief description and send it off to me. I’ll do my best to give you some useful information by writing about it for everyone. If it’s a challenge for you, no doubt others are experiencing it as well. Each submission will remain completely, totally confidential and anonymous.

Come on. Click REPLY, share your topic and begin the journey to get happy inside.